Mokulule
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Leonard “Bones” McCoy, ready to violate the hippocratic oath because a group of ensigns were exposed to a mystery spore on a new planet and one of them keeps on vanishing when they try to drag him to the medbay: I swear on my grandmothers damned grave I will find and sedate that idiot if it’s the last thing I do-
Ensign Daniel J. Fenton, who has been running for his half-life from a slightly insane doctor for the past hour or so, knowing that if he gets examined a lot of questions will be raised concerning the fact that he has the vitals of a coma patient: oh ancients have mercy I’m going to be double dead-
“Scotty.”
The cheery Scotsman turned to face Bones, “Doctor McCoy, can’t say I’m not surprised to see you, what brings you down here?”
“I need you to call Ensign Fenton here.”
“And why would you be needing me to do that? Call him yourself.”
“He won’t come; he’s been avoiding me ever since the incident on Omicron Ceti III. I checked his exam records, and do you know what I found?”
“No, Doctor, I don’t. I’m an engineer, if you’ll recall, and I don’t have access to his medical records.” Scotty leveled a mocking glare at the doctor.
“They’re forged. All of them. I don’t know how he got past Starfleet without getting an exam, and I don’t care. I’m his doctor, and I *will* make sure he’s healthy.”
“Well, even if I do call him, it sounds like he’ll run off when he sees you.”
“I’m going to hide behind,” McCoy looked around the engine room, “this…tube here, and I want you to distract him. I’ll sedate him, and then we’ll get him to sickbay, and I’ll take it from there.”
Scotty raised an eyebrow from his slouched position on the engineering console and lazily pressed a button, “Ensign Fenton to Engineering, Ensign Fenton to Engineering.”
A few minutes passed by–McCoy rife with manic tension, and Scotty increasingly amused by McCoy’s agitation–before Ensign Fenton walked into the engineering bay.
Fenton’s bright blue eyes flickered about the room, scanning for any visible leaks, his ears twitched slightly as he scanned for odd noises, and finally, the weight of his gaze settled on Chief Engineer Montgomery Scott. Between his icy blue eyes, his raven-black hair, his pale skin, and tall, athletic build, Fenton cut quite the dashing figure in his golden engineering uniform.
“How can I help, Chief?” Fenton’s lazy, midwestern drawl rolled from him in a solid baritone.
“How’d you like a little lesson on the finer points of power regulation of this here,” Scotty gestured magnificently to the engine mechanisms around, “lady?”
Fenton’s eyes sparkled–literally–while his head bobbed vigorously, “I’d love that, sir!”
As Fenton loped to the console, McCoy sprang from his hiding spot like a vampire thirsty for blood, pressed his hydrospray to Fenton’s neck, and fired the sedative into his system. “Gotcha!”
Fenton rolled forward and to his right, away from McCoy, sprang to his feet, and whirled to face both Scotty and Bones, before his eyebrows drew lower and his eyes locked on Scotty. Where his eyes had sparkled, they seemed to glow with an inner fire, “I trusted you, *sir*.”
Before the chiefs could round up their scattered brains, Danny stormed out of the engineering bay.
McCoy, still agape at what had transpired, looked to his hydrospray, then to Scotty, “How is he still awake? I gave him enough to put a normal man out for six hours!”
Scotty’s console pinged, drawing his attention. He frowned at the console, then leveled his best flat stare at Bones, “I don’t know, Doctor, but I do know he’s just put in for a transfer to security. Seems I’ve lost a good man for nothin’.”
I think this will continue through various departments, demonstrating how versatile Ensign Fenton is, until Spock finds out, and with a pinch Vulcan takes him to the infirmary… Of course, at this point he is running from Bones along with Captain Krik
And…the only thing the tricorder says about Danny is, “Species: Unknown, New Species?”
The crew is shocked, here is a crewmate with whom they have lived for months… and they have not realized that he has possibly been replaced, perhaps the real Danny Fenton never boarded the ship
I didn’t know if needed this but please, give me more!!! Aaaaaaah!
“The current situation inside the USS Enterprise is tense, the navigation course has been changed to a nearby station, protocols, breakdowns and communications have been reviewed…
and the commanders meet in a meeting…"A summary of the situation, Ensign Fenton is currently unconscious with medication and in a secluded section of the medical bay, we have just discovered that he has falsified his species and possibly other personal reports” Captain Kirk began.
“The ship is in a state of review for possible sabotage, of which no evidence of malfunction has been found, but some inactive devices have been found in some sections of the ship, their location could well be a sabotage or an inactive safeguard , the engineering department is currently reviewing them” reported Scotty
“We can only confirm that all medical reports have been falsified since he boarded the ship, any prior to that, we cannot confirm” Bones spoke.
“So, he entered the academy posing as a human or Ensign Fenton was changed before boarding the ship” Spock continued.
“Captain, we have reported that we need a resupply to the ship, as well as preventive maintenance as the reason for changing course to the nearby base, the report of the new species can be withheld and justified as high security, so do not can be treated by open communication” reported Uhura
“Right now we have to know how a new and unrecorded species ended up as a crew member of a Starfleet ship and what his intentions are”
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If you’re reading this…
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WIP
WARNING - side effects of adopting and raising incredibly acrobatic clingy children with abandonment issues may include: incredibly acrobatic clingy children with abandonment issues, and increased back pain. Clinical trials have shown no correlation between the two.
HOW ARE ANY O FYOU PEOPLE COMFORTABLE
[sits in bisexual]
[sits in bisexual]
[sits in bisexual]
[sits in bi-
(via broosepayne)
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why must we play god
Artistic representation of how the lemon was invented in the first place
“citrus are whores” is not something i expected to see on the hellsite today
I’m not wrong though they are EASILY the sluttiest fruits. You don’t see Rosales pulling this shit. I mean yeah apples will breed weird new apples but nothing fucks around like citrus.
#so we’re slutshaming the fruits now?
Tags that look homophobic without context
I MEAN technically squashes are fruits and they are also EXTREMELY SLUTTY.
The lemon and lime fanfic warnings ARE based on scientific fact.
The lemon and lime
fanfic warnings ARE based on
scientific fact.
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
(via spell-cleaver)
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Donald Duck Goes To Group Therapy For His Debilitating Executive Dysfunction And It’s Just Played Completely Straight For Like Four Pages Like What
(via spell-cleaver)
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my main character trait is that i am unreasonably invested in the 2004 hit nickelodeon cartoon danny phantom, it is all i think about and all i breathe, and if you mention this to me irl i will gaslight you into thinking that there is no cartoon called danny phantom
(via five-rivers)
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Poor poor John, it seem’s that he’s gotten himself into a bit of situation.
-Too be completely honest everything I know about John Constantine is from AO3. With random snippets like ~steel blue eyes or short blonde hair… and not to forget the “Gods! I need a drink don’t contact me for the next month.. or better yet don’t at all” 👍✨👌
(via dp-marvel94)
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So my family has a Gay Pirate Plate.
Stay with me.
We do not know how the hell the Gay Pirate Plate was first acquired. This being a point of contention is actually pretty plot-relevant; the saga of the Gay Pirate Plate began with my grandmother and her sister, who, for some ungodly reason, both BADLY wanted the Gay Pirate Plate and believed it to be rightfully theirs.
I should back up, firstly, to establish: The Gay Pirate Plate is the cheapest, tackiest, ugliest plate in existence.
It is in no way a collector’s item. It is physically impossible for it to complement anyone’s decor, because the colors in it are garish. It’s just a ceramic plate with a gay pirate painted on it, and the painting is, this cannot be emphasized enough, extremely bad.
(How do we know the pirate is gay if he’s just posing on a plate? Listen. Fully 100% to stereotype, but he is. He is gay. There’s an energy. That pirate is a flaming homosexual. That pirate has sex with men and does it frequently. That pirate is fucking gay, all right, he just is.)
Anyway. The point is that this is an extremely cheap and ugly plate with a poorly-executed painting of pirate on it who is like a nine on the Kinsey scale.
My grandmother and her sister fought a blood feud over this plate for their entire lives. It would be on the wall in my grandma’s house, and then her sister would visit, and then it would be gone. She’d visit her sister and the plate would be on the wall and her sister would pretend it had always been there. She would steal it back, hang it up, and, when her sister visited, pretend it had always been there. This continued for DECADES.
When the sister died, the Gay Pirate Plate lived triumphantly in my grandmother’s house. And then my grandmother died. And my aunt, who had lived with her and been her carer throughout her life, rightfully inherited their house.
We visit my aunt after the funeral and stay with her for a week or two.
Me, my sister, and our dad. Her brother.
The three of us look at each other. We don’t say anything. We studiously avoid making eye contact with the Gay Pirate Plate mounted proud and ugly on the wall. We notice one another studiously avoiding looking at it. We notice one another noticing. We say nothing. We come to a silent consensus. We pack up to leave. We get in the van. Our aunt comes out to say goodbye. I loudly announce I need to use the restroom before we leave. She obviously stays outside to continue talking to my dad.
I take down the Gay Pirate Plate, stuff it under my oversized sweatshirt, go outside, and get in the van. She happily waves goodbye as we drive off.
Two days later my dad gets a phone call that opens with hysterical laughter and “You FUCKING ASSHOLE did you seriously STEAL THE PLATE–”
Anyway. The gay pirate plate lives in my dad’s house currently.
But he’s trying to get me and my sister out to visit him. And plate mounts are cheap.
The rules of Gay Pirate Plate are simple by the way.
- The plate must be clearly and openly displayed in a place of great prominence whenever it is in your possession. When it is not in your possession, the display piece must remain in place. This is where you would put your gay pirate plate, IF YOU HAD ONE.
- No active steps may be taken to prevent the theft of the Gay Pirate Plate. That goes against the spirit of the game, as does attempting to hide it.
- The plate MUST be stolen and cannot be gifted or removed with permission. Should you witness attempted theft of the Gay Pirate Plate you are required to intervene and return it to its place.
- Every time your sibling successfully absconds with the Gay Pirate Plate, you must respond with indignant fury, as if you have not also repeatedly and blatantly stolen the Gay Pirate Plate.
WOE
PLATE BE UPON YE
(via berry-muffin)
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wanted to do some Jason Todd/Red Hood redesigns for fun cause the current design… just doesn’t showcase his FULL POTENTIAL
(via kaelinaloveslomaris)